It takes a sadist to work for a sadist
by clueless788
Summary: Gintoki find himself in desperate need of some money. How far will he go to get what he wants?


Gintoki's foot pushed off the ground once more as he swirled in his desk chair. His pinky finger was idly rooting about up his nostril, searching for only the heavens knew what. He removed his finger, looked at it intently, before wiping it on the side of his desk. His precious, white yukata couldn't get dirty after all.

"Shinpachi-kun," Gintoki drawled out. "I'm bored."

"Ma Gin-san, you should help out with the cleaning then!"

"Mmn," Gintoki's eyelids fluttered shut as Shinpachi's motherly voice droned on in the background accompanied by the faint sound of dusters flapping against wood.

"...or help try to find us more jobs."

Gintoki's head lulled back against the chair, his mouth falling open.

"...we've hit an all time low in our earnings this month."

A gentle snore could be heard drifting from the general desk area.

"...and no more money means no more strawberry milk"

A snort followed by a choked gasping sound escaped the silver haired samurai as his head snapped up and his palms slammed loudly against the solid oak desk.

"WHAT?"

A sly smirk spread its way across Shinpachi's face, whose back was turned towards the livid man.

"You heard me Gin-san, and with the way Kagura-chan is pillaging our supplies I say we'd be out of money before..." he tapped his chin contemplatively, leaning against his mop. "Oh I don't know, the end of this week?" he replied offhandedly, yet it had the desired effect. Gintoki was already rummaging wildly around the room in search of a t-t-time machine.

"Shinpachi, this is bad! Money! We need money!"

"I suggest you go find us some jobs then Gin-san"

"How am I supposed to do that?" Gintoki questioned desperately, his eyes wild.

"I don't know, perhaps try advertising us? Call in a few favours?"

And with those last words Gintoki's boots were on, his wooden sword tucked in his belt and himself speeding through the front door.

* * *

Gintoki paced through the dusty streets, no real destination in mind. _Which idiot needs a job doing? _ His mind flicked through dozens of acquaintances. _Or more to the point, which idiot would pay… _Gintoki's face blanched as Saigou's face, the 'mama' of the local okama bar, flitted into his mind, answering his question. _There is no way in he-_

"Oi, Danna."

Gintoki turned his head down to the figure reclining on an ageing bench. "How can you see me with that sleeping mask on?" he warily eyed the boy.

"Now now Danna, that's no way to greet your best friend."

"Seriously, are there holes in there or something, Souichirou-kun?" Gintoki leant forward, examining said sleeping mask.

"Hehe, you always were so funny, Danna." Okita's eyes creased in a smile, mask now resting in the sadist's hair, as he grabbed a fistful of Gintoki's hair and proceeded to smash his head against the concrete ground.

Holding a bloody tissue to his nose, Gintoki muttered something about the 'disrespectful youth of today'.

"So, as I was saying Da-"

"Didn't sound like you were saying much." Gintoki narrowed his eyes at the sandy haired boy.

"As I was saying," his voice rising an octave. "I hear you're in desperate need of some dough."

Gintoki squinted at Okita, unsure – and to be honest slightly scared – as to how he could possibly have such information. "Don't worry Souichirou, I don't need tainted money from government dogs like you." Maybe a bit harsh, but he had no sympathy for the teen; the bleeding had already spread to his nether regions.

"Ahh that's too bad Danna." Okita gave a resigned sigh, pulling something out from inside his jacket. "My wallet's starting to get creases from all the notes stuffed in here." He began flicking through the wad of notes, sighing once more. "Well...Yamazaki could do with a new badminton racket I suppose..."

As he felt Gintoki's arm wrap snugly around his neck, a satisfied smile settled on Okita's face. He quickly pocketed the wallet before Gintoki could see the words 'Hijikata Toushiro' sewn into the inside layer.

"I've always liked you Souichirou-kun-"

"Sougo."

"That's right Seiko, there's just something about your spark for life that reminds me of myself." Gintoki smiled, a glint in his eyes that followed the path of the notes now tucked safely back in Okita's uniform jacket.

"Let's go somewhere more comfortable to discuss the details, Danna."

* * *

"Lemme get this straight," he started, leaning back in his seat outside the infamous dango shop. "You're willing to pay me to dress up as a Bakufu do- eh, as a Shinsengumi officer?" Gintoki raised an eyebrow. It sounded easy…way too easy. And Gintoki had come to learn in life that nothing comes easy. Ever.

"Ahh, it's more what you'll do for me once you're in the uniform. There're some…," he paused. "…errands that need doing."

Gintoki seemed to assess the teen's motives as he analysed the satisfied smirk that had planted itself on the boy's face. No good would come from this. Nothing ever did when he found himself caught in the middle of Shinsengumi affairs. Working for this sadist was a big enough blow to Gintoki's pride as it was, let alone having to pose as one of those government dogs. And talking of dogs, he was likely to come across that idiotic mayora if he accepted this job. It wasn't worth the hassle.

'…_.no more strawberry milk…' _Shinpachi's voice echoed in Gintoki's head.

Broken from his reverie, Gintoki looked to the sadist sitting across him, polishing off his last dango. "It's a deal."

The sandy haired teen smirked, "You won't regret it, Danna." He placed his now empty dango stick back on the table, and rose from his seat. "So I'll expect you at the headquarters, noon tomorrow. Don't forget to bring some overnight stuff."

"Ehh, who said anything about staying overnight?!"

He tapped the piece of paper on the table, "You do remember the figure we discussed?" Okita's eyes glinted dangerously at the silver haired samurai.

"So we're talking toothbrush, razor, Jump?"

Okita clambered out of the picnic-table contraption before adjusting the sword at his waist and swiping a few strands of hair from his line of vision. "Don't worry about a futon, I'm sure we have a spare _somewhere_." He faced the still seated samurai, "I need to get back on patrol."

"You were sleeping on a bench."

"Seeya tomorrow, Danna."

"Mmh." Gintoki watched Okita's retreating form, before rising out of his seat. How did he always get dragged into these things?

"Ehem."

The sweet-toothed samurai turned his head towards this sound, only to be greeted by a disgruntled looking owner, arms crossed and glaring expectantly at Gintoki.

Gintoki quickly scanned the direction Okita had left from remarkably fast. "Bastard."

* * *

A/N: I really dunno where this story is going! Feel free to give any suggestions ^_^ I know Hijikata is going to star in this (probably bashed as the poor thing tends to be with all these sadists around him ;P) I hope you enjoyed! Reviewwwww with suggestions!


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